Nothing
by Kimi-sama
Summary: If he wasn't content at the bar, drinking, by himself, at least he was resigned to it. And then he came in. HPDM slash slight unrequited


Disclaimer I don't own this please don't sue.

Nothing

"Hello Harry."

Harry felt a shudder run up and down his spine with very cold feet at the sound of that voice. He knew that voice. That aristocratic drawl. Emotions beat on Harry's chest until he wasn't sure if he wanted to run away, to get up and snog the boy senseless or even punch him one.

He settled for another drink. The firewhiskey burnt pleasantly as it went down.

"Harry?" Irritation seeped into the voice saying petulantly 'Why is a peasant such as yourself ignoring me?'. That was even more familiar.

Harry kept silent a moment longer just until he could feel him fairly quivering with impatience.

"Hello Draco. What brings you to my part of town?" he asked sardonically, taking another gulp of firewhiskey. Draco sneered. Harry didn't even have to look at him to know.

"Don't play dumb Potter, you know why."

Harry put his glass down and waved away the bartender.

"Yes Malfoy, I suppose I do." he sighed and clunked down payment for his drinks. "C'mon, my room is this way. I don't want to discuss this here."

Malfoy gave him a searching look.

"I won't molest you, damn you." Harry hissed so bitterly Draco had to look away.

He led the blond up dusty stairs that creaked and groaned beneath them. Harry walked with a bit more force than necessary, half hoping the stairs would finally give up the ghost and collapse beneath him. They didn't oblige.

Malfoy stopped to stare at his door a moment, his nose wrinkled in distaste at the grimy, cracked, splinter laden monstrosity. Harry smirked, same old Draco, and touched the door lightly in the center. It opened with a quiet pop.

"Welcome to my flat." he announced uselessly.

Inside was a good deal nicer than outside. The furniture was all extra large and cozy and everything was in dark, warm colors. Covering the floor was a thick carpet, perfect for bare feet. A fire burned in the fire place continuously. It popped and crackled soothingly, casting warm flickering shadows everywhere. To Draco the room felt like a place to hide, a place to be safe from everything. Knowing Harry, it could probably survive a minor apocalypse.

Harry dropped down onto the couch and kicked off his shoes with a sigh.

"This is rather urgent you know." said Malfoy coldly.

"Sit down Malfoy, they've ignored it this long, they can wait a bit longer, or they can find another play toy."

When Draco didn't reply Harry looked up to catch the blond watching him with something that might have been guilt, or pain, but it was gone to quickly for Harry to decide.

"Draco?" Draco blinked and shut the door. He sat down across from Harry, the usually harsh planes of his face softer. His eyes warmer. Harry swallowed hard. He knew this Draco, who he liked to think of as the real Draco. The one that was buried beneath all the layers of anger and snobbery. Once, he had loved this boy, was in love with him still, as much as he wished otherwise.

Harry reached for the scotch he had on the coffee table but a pale hand stopped him. Harry stared at it for a while noticing the contrast between Draco's pale skin and his own slightly tanner flesh was not as great as it had once been. He concentrated on the feel of Draco's hand touching his own, smooth and dry and cool. It quieted the ache in his soul that had haunted him for the better part of ten years. He had thought he'd finally had some measure of control over it. He hadn't cried himself to sleep in months, hadn't scoured the newspapers looking for a hint of information on Draco in years. But when Draco pulled his hand away Harry made a small pained noise that made both of them flinch. He pulled his trembling hands to his chest and hugged himself, trying to warm the cold place in his chest that Draco had created so long ago.

When he turned his eyes to the blond they burned.

"Do you always drink?" Draco asked softly.

"Yes. Always." said Harry. "How is your wife?"

It was Draco's turn to flinch.

"She's fine. She's pregnant."

"Ah." The gust of air escaping Harry resembled nothing so much as a death rattle except, horribly, he had to go on living afterwards.

Draco suddenly leaned forward clasping Harrys hand within his again.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I can't ever begin to tell you how sorry I am. I wish I could change it, that I could go back and do things differently-."

"Would you still marry her?"

"You have to understand Harry-"

"But I can't- I CAN'T!" Harry was suddenly on his feet and screaming. "It's impossible, literally impossible for me to understand why! Why can't I be with you! Why you left me! Why you choose her." His voice faded to a murmer. "You and Dumbledore made sure of that."

Draco couldn't look at the broken savior of the wizarding world.

"But surely it's wearing off." he said weakly.

"Oh, Draco." Harry said pityingly "Look at me."

Draco reluctantly turned his head. Harry had bared his forearms and on the inside of each wrist was a long scar.

"My first attempt. I tried three more times before they put a spell on me that prevented me from knowingly harming myself. I was convinced that because I wasn't worthy of you I wasn't worthy of living. I still am. I can't be other wise. If I could hate you with every fiber of my being for what you have done to me I would, gladly. But I can't and I never will. Did you really think that any potion Voldemort had made to torment me would ever wear off?"

Harry bent down and gathered Draco into his arms and he was warm for the first time in years as Draco sobbed apologies into his shoulder and clung to him. For a moment it was like Draco really did love him and he would never let go again. And then Harry opened his eyes and saw his rooms and knew those thoughts to be wishful thinking. Inhaling deeply of Draco's scent Harry tried to recapture that perfect time during the war when he had loved Draco and though his love returned. They had sat together like this sometimes, before Harry knew of the potion Dumbledore had agreed to have slipped into his food for the sake of another spy.

"I will love you forever for what you have done Draco. Yours alone though you may never want me. May that knowledge be with you for all time." he whispered and kissed the top of Draco's head. "The Order was cruel to both of us when they sent you to fetch me."

Draco looked up at him, his eye's anguished and shattered and Harry couldn't help himself. He leaned down and captured Draco's lips in his own in a soft kiss that brought light back to the world. He'd forgotten how beautiful life could be. And when Draco began to reciprocate it only got better, because suddenly they were teenagers again and it was the middle of the war and they were in that abandoned classroom on the upper levels they'd fixed up a bit and they had the whole world ahead of them. Harry knew nothing of any potion or Draco's fiancé and everything had hope, had life. He was burning he was so alive. And then the kiss ended and Harry was cold and bitter and hopeless again.

He stood up pulling the aristocrat with him. "Tomorrow I will go with you and face this new Dark Lord that you have let grow and flourish and I will die and be at peace at last. But tonight, we shall stay here in my room, on my bed, and I will have you in my arms. I would like to be warm for one night. I had forgotten how nice it felt."

Draco nodded once, silently and followed Harry to his bedroom where they curled up together, still in their clothes. And long after Harry had fallen asleep Draco lay awake watching the tousled haired boy with an indefinable emotion until, at last he buried his nose in the crook of Harry's neck and he too fell asleep.

END

Well, there you go. Have fun. I should have been working on my other one but I had the inspiration for this one so there you go. Very much a oneshot. No sequles EVER.


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